Yes, it’s true. I am a coach who coaches clients through all kinds of fear and doubt. And yet, last week, Fear and his cousin, Doubt came to visit me. Together, they triggered the %#$@ out of me!
I’ve worked on many aspects of my personal growth and have changed my beliefs and how I deal with fear. Does that mean fear and doubt no longer show up for me? No! As we grow smarter, so does fear. The cool part, is we learn how to deal with it and it doesn’t have to trigger us as much as in the past.
So, last week, when I gave birth…..to my first e-book…..what were you thinking? lol I also spoke on a telesummit, participated in a book-apoloza with some colleagues and ran a rebroadcast of my Global Summer School.
Then it happened. My web site went down. O.M.G Right as we were launching; right as we were emailing. A team member wrote and said, “Web site is down. I am working on it, don’t panic.” I was OK, for about an hour. Then panic set it. As it moved into the next day, big panic. Not about my team, it was about what will others think? I’d already sent messages and social media messages that led to no where. When the site came back up, we hadn’t backed it up, so pieces were missing. Ugh~I was triggered full blown.
It was time to sit with myself and see what was really going on. I’ve has smaller triggering events with technology, but never anything to this extent.
When I went into observation mode, I noticed some of the thoughts that were coming up. “People will think I’m dumb.” “People will think I can’t even keep a web site up.” “They will think I’m a failure – no one will buy from me.” and lastly “What were you thinking, trying to do so much, being too big, this is all really your own fault.” Whew! What a load of bull!!
So, when I recognized what was happening, I took action. Not business action, take care of Val action. I took one of my now famous bubble baths. Did some reading and watched a sad movie to get the fear tears out . OK, so now that was done, it was time for me to get back to work and I did. Wrote some emails, touched base with a couple support friends and worked with team to create a new flow.
Today, I’m back upright and ready to rock and roll. I also can see clearly how much my fear was keeping me a prisoner of wanting to play small. I acknowledged my actions and movement forward. I know that instead of rejection, fear of the no, what will others think of me can show up in other ways….for me, it’s in technology. Where are you triggered in your business? What might keep you for playing big?
New level, new devil. Bless that devil!